Can't Profess
by LemonTwist
Summary: Takeru broke up with Hikari without telling her why, and it's been eating up inside of her. When he does finally tell her, she does something extremely drastic to get rid of the pain. Complete.


"Hey Hikari." Takeru said uncomfortably as he walked up Hikari's locker. It's been hard for both him and Hikari since he broke up with her. He never told her why, and she never asked. She just went along with her plastered, beautiful life, even though she was about to crack on the inside.  
  
"Hi." Hikari said, equally uncomfortable. She closed her locker and looked at Takeru to find he wasn't alone.  
  
"Hika, you know Ami Finaroi?" Takeru said as he acknowledged Ami's presence.  
  
"Yes, I do." Hikari said, attempting greatly to ignore the person standing next to the man she still loved.  
  
"Well, um, I wanted to tell you before anybody got the chance to. We're dating." Takeru said like it was no big deal. Hikari continued on ignoring the, now, new-founded couple.  
  
"That's great. I got to go." Hikari said blankly. She turned away from Takeru and his girlfriend, making sure her emotions didn't arise. Hikari went on with the rest of the day like nothing changed, even though she knew everything had changed. She felt a rush of relief went she heard the school bell ring and knew that Takeru and Ami would not be staying after school. She stayed in the classroom a little while longer so that the rest of the school could file out before she headed towards the auditorium to meet the rest of the dance committee. She opened up the doors to find she was the first one to cause the echo of existence in the room. She walked over the bleachers and put her book bag down on the floor and laid down on the bleachers to empty out her mind. She wasn't alone for long; Kisho had arrived.  
  
"Hey Kar. We the first ones here?" Kisho asked as he glanced around the room to see if there was any other sign of life other than himself and Hikari.  
  
"Yep." Hikari answered with her eyes closed.  
  
"Hey, I heard about TK. Sorry about that." Kisho said sympathetically.  
  
"Why should you be sorry? It's not like he's cheating on me." Hikari answered.  
  
"I know, it's just we all figured you to would get back together."  
  
"Well I guess that's not going to happen, huh." Hikari answered sharply.  
  
"Well, well! Hello kids." Mrs. Fiseromi said as she walked into the auditorium. "Have either of you been thinking about what you theme you want yet for your prom?"  
  
"Yeah, I have." Hikari said as she sprung up from the bleachers.  
  
"I was thinking like, a futuristic retro theme. With glow lights, and platinum banners and everything like a glowing blue." Hikari said as she spun around on the floor like she was in a dream.  
  
"That sounds very exciting!" Mrs. Fiseromi said as she clapped delightfully. "It might just be what we're looking for! Bring it up when the rest of the group gets here, ok?"  
  
"Sure thing." Hikari said. The rest of the group eventually came, and they all started planning and chatting about what they want their prom to be. They all but two people liked Hikari's idea, and decided to go with it. They heard of this hotel that held conventions and dances, such as the one Odaiba High was planning, that they could rent for a reasonable price. They assigned different tasks among themselves, and then the group split up for the remainder of the meeting to come up with more ideas and plans. After they presented their ideas and everybody finally agreed, they all went home. Hikari entered Tai's apartment, quite exhausted. She tossed her book bag onto the floor in front of the closet and plopped down onto the couch to relax in front of mindless television. The TV wasn't on for long before Taichi came through the front door.  
  
"Hey Kari." Taichi yawned.  
  
"Hey." Hikari said to him, not removing her eyes from the television. Taichi hung his jacket up in the closet and sat down on the apposite end of the couch that Hikari was sitting and laid down on her lap, which unglued her from the television.  
  
"Why are you so tired?" Hikari asked her brother.  
  
"Oh man. Classes today were SO annoying. We didn't do anything interesting at all. And then I almost got fired today because Ji had to be an ass."  
  
"Oh, poor Taichi." Hikari said in a child-like voice.  
  
"I know." Taichi pouted. Hikari chuckled lightly at Tai's attempt to make her feel sorry for him, then went back to watching TV.  
  
"Hika...Are you ok?" Taichi asked. Hikari sighed.  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
"Why don't you tell me about it?" Taichi asked as he sat up.  
  
"Well...Takeru's got a new girlfriend."  
  
"Oh." Taichi said quietly.  
  
"It's not big deal. I mean it's not like he went behind my back or anything."  
  
"Hika...Its Takeru. How could you not think it's a big deal?"  
  
"Because I just can. I got homework to do." Hikari said, trying to avoid any more confrontations from her brother. She got up off the couch and grabbed her book bag and brought it into her room. Taichi sighed.  
  
'Takeru has no idea what he's done.' He thought.  
  
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"Hey Hika." Daisuke said as he entered the auditorium.  
  
"Hi." Hikari said, not looking at Daisuke because she was focusing on practicing her dance routine.  
  
"So what'd I miss from the last meeting?" Daisuke asked her as he sat down on the bleachers.  
  
"We decided on a theme and assigned jobs." Hikari gasped as she finished her routine.  
  
"Ah. What theme did we go with?" Daisuke asked.  
  
"A...futuristic theme. Silvers...and...Blues." Hikari panted.  
  
"Cool." Daisuke said. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, and asked Hikari a question.  
  
"Um, Hika...Who are you going to the prom with?"  
  
"No one. Why?" Hikari said as she sat down next to Daisuke on the bleachers.  
  
"Well, I was kind of wondering if...You'd go to the prom with me. You know, just as friends."  
  
"Sure." Hikari answered like it was nothing big.  
  
"Really? Um, thanks." Daisuke said with a grin.  
  
"No problem." Hikari chuckled at the sight of Daisuke's grin. "Oh, we assigned you to be in charge of entertainment."  
  
"What?! Why?"  
  
"Because everything else was taken."  
  
"Man. How am I going to come up with entertainment?"  
  
"Well..." Hikari started with an idea in her mind, "I could help you with your job if you help me with mine."  
  
"What's your job?" Daisuke asked.  
  
"Getting the decorations and such."  
  
"Sounds pretty easy. Sure, it's a deal. Did you have any ideas in mind?" Daisuke asked.  
  
"Well..." Hikari started.  
  
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Hikari sat on the roof of her apartment building and stared out into the city. She sighed and wiped her tears away, closed her eyes, and took in a deep breath of fresh air. There was nothing to help cure a broken heart like the sound of the wind running through the trees and the feeling of having that wind being brought into your lungs. Hikari sat there like this for a while before she opened her eyes. A thought came to her mind, but she blew it away. She could never do something like that to her brother, her family. It wasn't her at all. But she knew the feeling she had towards Takeru wasn't going to go away. It wasn't a childhood crush. This felt like life and death. And Takeru was killing her. She had to do something to make the pain go away, and only one thing kept coming to mind. She sighed heavily, and finally put the idea into her suggestion thoughts.  
  
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"Miyako, what do you think of this?" Hikari asked as she came out of the dressing room.  
  
"Er...Nah, it's not you." Miyako replied after she looked over the dress Hikari was wearing.  
  
"Ok." Hikari sighed. "Man, dresses are ridiculous."  
  
"Here, try this one on." Miyako said as she handed Hikari another dress.  
  
"Thanks." Hikari said. She went back into the dressing room and tried the other dress that Miyako had showed her.  
  
"TK, stop." Hikari heard from the other side of the dressing room wall. She quickly put on her own clothes and stepped outside of the dressing room and peeked around the corner. Her eyes went dark when she saw Takeru wrapping his arms around Ami and kissing her neck.  
  
"Kar, what are you doing." Miyako said as she walked up from behind Hikari. Hikari jumped at the sound of Miyako, and brought a finger to her lips, instructing her to be quiet. Miyako peered over Hikari's shoulder and saw Takeru and Ami.  
  
"Oh Hikari..." Miyako sighed.  
  
"Miyako, let's find something somewhere else." Hikari said quietly. Miyako helped Hikari put the dresses away and just as they were about to leave, Ami yelled to them.  
  
"Hey Miyako!" She yelled. Miyako turned around slowly and put on a fake smile.  
  
"Hi, Ami. You looking for a prom dress here too?" She asked as Ami and Takeru walked up to her and Hikari.  
  
"Yeah. I brought along the man that's going to have to see me in one all night." Ami said with a sly grin.  
  
"Hey Miyako." Takeru chuckled. He looked behind Miyako and saw Hikari, and his smile faded.  
  
"Hey Hikari." Takeru said quietly.  
  
"Hi. We need to go. C'mon Miya." Hikari said, trying to avoid having to look at Takeru any more.  
  
"Um, sure. I'll see you guys later." Miyako said. She turned away from the couple and followed Hikari out to the car.  
  
"Miyako, why didn't you tell me you knew Ami?" Hikari asked accusingly as she sat down into the passenger seat.  
  
"I didn't think it was important." Miyako said as she started the car.  
  
"You didn't think that telling me that you know my ex boyfriend's girlfriend is important?" Hikari snapped.  
  
"I'm sorry, Hika. I didn't think about how sensitive you are to this subject." Miyako said sincerely.  
  
"It's ok." Hikari sighed. "Just don't keep anything like that a secret, ok?"  
  
"No problem. Sorry again."  
  
"It's alright." Hikari said. She looked out the window to avoid Miyako seeing her tears stroll down her face. "So, where are we going now?"  
  
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"Alright class, since your teacher did NOT leave me any indication of what you are doing, seeing that she didn't expect her water to break, we will just do some simple routines today, nothing harder then a round-off backhand spring. Ok?" Hikari's substitute PE teacher said. Hikari noticed the about 97% of the class wasn't paying attention, and the attempt that the sub was making made Hikari chuckle.  
  
"Funny, huh. Subs just haven't quite gotten it yet." Takeru's voice said from behind Hikari.  
  
"Yeah. Sure." Hikari said blankly.  
  
"Hika, I'm kind of getting the feeling that you're giving me the cold shoulder." Takeru said exasperatingly.  
  
"I have a good reason to, Takeru." Hikari said sharply.  
  
"Hikari..." Takeru sighed, but Hikari didn't let him finish. She walked up to the mat and started on her turn of exercises.  
  
"Mmm...What's wrong baby?" Ami asked Takeru as she walked up to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Hikari's just been acting weird. I'm not sure why."  
  
"Well, could it have anything to do with you being her ex?"  
  
"I doubt it. She told me she was fine."  
  
"I see." Ami said.  
  
"Um...Takeru Takaishi! You're next!" The sub yelled.  
  
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"Dai, what do you think of this?" Hikari asked Daisuke as she showed him a picture of blue glow lights.  
  
"It's...Cool." Daisuke replied. He pulled up to a red light and sighed.  
  
"So...How's the routine coming?" He asked Hikari.  
  
"Pretty good. Me and the girls have almost down pat. We just need a couple more days to get it going."  
  
"Cool. Hey, Hika, thanks for helping me out. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you." He said sincerely.  
  
"Oh, it's no problem Daisuke. I'm glad to help." Hikari said with a smile. Daisuke grinned at the sight of Hikari's smile. Her smile always seemed to brighten anybody's day.  
  
"Um, can I ask you a question?" Daisuke asked Hikari uncomfortably.  
  
"Yeah, of course." Hikari replied. "What's up?"  
  
"Well..." Daisuke started as he continued to drive, "You know Nori Saynuma? From school?"  
  
"Yeah, I know her."  
  
"What do you think of her?"  
  
"Um..." Hikari started. "She seems really nice. She doesn't get into trouble in any of the classes I have with her, and she seems to have a good group of friends. Why?"  
  
"Well...I...I was thinking of asking her out."  
  
"Dai, why didn't you tell me! If you want to ask her to the prom, go for it."  
  
"Really? Are you sure?" Daisuke asked.  
  
"Yes, I am." Hikari chuckled. "You deserve to have a good time at your prom. And I'll be there anyway, so it's not like we won't be hanging out or anything."  
  
"Thanks Hikari." Daisuke sighed in relief.  
  
"Yeah." Hikari said quietly. She looked out the window and let her eyes empty out. "No problem."  
  
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"So you don't have a date for the prom?" Miyako asked.  
  
"No, I don't." Hikari sighed. She slumped back onto her bed and sighed. "Miya, I really need your help. I need a date for the prom. I NEED one."  
  
"Why do you 'NEED' one?"  
  
"Because Ta-Never mind. I just need one." Hikari sat up and looked at Miyako. "Can you see if Ken could help me get a date? I've seen the guys he hangs with, and they're pretty hot."  
  
"I can ask him, but I'm not sure he can get you one."  
  
"Thanks. Can you call him now?" Hikari pleaded.  
  
"But he's...He's busy with his team." Miyako said as she lowered her voice. "If I call him now, he'd be able to ask now." She picked her head up and saw a Hikari grinning with a phone in her hand. Miyako sighed.  
  
"Ok, ok. I'll call. But no promises that he'll have a friend who's not taken, ok?"  
  
"Ok." Hikari said with a serious face on. Miyako sighed again and dialed Ken's cell phone number.  
  
"Ken? Yeah, I know. Kari wanted me to ask you something. Are any of your teammates dateless? Ok." Miyako said over the phone. She looked at Hikari and mouthed 'he's asking' to her. "Yeah, I'm still here. Really? What's his name? Yasuo? What's he look like? I know, I know, but Hikari's a girl and looks matter. Ok, ok. I'll tell her. Thanks. Oh, you have his number, right? Ok. Bye." Miyako hung up the phone and looked over at Hikari, who had a worried face on. "He has a dateless friend that would love to take you to the dance. And don't worry, he said that he would look 'adorable' to you. He set up a blind date for you two tomorrow. Is that ok?"  
  
"That's great! Oh thanks Miya! I owe you one." Hikari said with a grin. 'Maybe I won't have to resolve to that after all.' Hikari thought to herself.  
  
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"Hikari, Yasuo is here!" Taichi yelled to Hikari from the living room. "Here, why don't you sit down?" Taichi motioned to Yasuo. They both sat down on the couch, and Taichi looked at the young man hard.  
  
"Is...Something wrong?" Yasuo asked Taichi with a worried smile.  
  
"No, no. I just usually don't trust the guys my sister dates, unless I can tell they're a good kid." Taichi said calmly.  
  
"Ah. So, you're her brother?" Yasuo asked.  
  
"Yes, I am. Why?" Taichi asked curiously.  
  
"Oh, no reason, I'm just usually greeted by the parents of my dates."  
  
"Ah. Understandable. Yeah, Hika lives with me. My parents and I thought it'd be best if she lived here because of where her school is."  
  
"Oh."Yasuo said uncomfortably.  
  
"So..." Taichi started with a glare. "Where, exactly, ARE you taking my sister anyway?"  
  
"Taichi, leave him alone." Hikari said as she walked out of her room.  
  
"Wow." Yasuo whispered. Taichi gave a Yasuo a stern look, then softened his face when he saw Hikari staring at him with an evil eye.  
  
"Anyway, we'd better go." Hikari said to Yasuo as her face became peaceful. She took him by the hand and led him out the door. Before she closed the door, she peeked her head in and gave Taichi and a stern glare, then pulled her head out and closed the door. Yasuo led Hikari to his car, and then started the car.  
  
"So...How do you know Ken?" Yasuo asked as he pulled out of the parking spot. This question made Hikari lift her head up from the floor and chuckle.  
  
"It's kind of a long story. The best version I can give you is he went up against my friend Daisuke in a soccer game, and afterwards they became friends, and then we met Ken, and we became friends. We being me and my other friends." Hikari pointed out.  
  
"That's cool. I just met him from being on my team." Yasuo chuckled. Hikari put on a small smile.  
  
"So..." Hikari started. "Where are we going?"  
  
"I was hoping we could go get something to eat. Is that ok for you?" Yasuo asked.  
  
"Sounds great." Hikari answered. The rest of the ride to the restaurant was silent. When they got there, Yasuo opened the door for Hikari like a gentleman, which surprised Hikari. She never really expected anyone to do something like that. They went into the restaurant and got a table for two, and after a couple of minutes of silence, Yasuo started up a conversation.  
  
"So...What kind of hobbies do you have?" He asked Hikari.  
  
"Um...I like photography. That's something I really want to do when I get older." Hikari said.  
  
"Really? What genre do you prefer to shoot?" Yasuo asked.  
  
"I like to take black and white pictures of children. Like, little two year olds. That's the purest time of age, you know? They don't have to worry about their looks, about their ex boyfriends, about their book reports. They only have to worry about what that funny, colorful thing is that just landed on their nose that tickles them." Hikari sighed. Yasuo nodded in agreement.  
  
"Sounds wonderful." Yasuo said. The two went on talking for a while, when the waitress brought them their food.  
  
"So..." Hikari said as she started to cut her food up, "Have you always lived here?"  
  
"Yeah. It's pretty weird place. Have you always lived here?" Yasuo asked.  
  
"Yep. Born and raised."  
  
"Do you remember those days when we had all those weird happenings go on downtown?" He asked. Hikari nearly choked on her food when Yasuo mentioned the first time that the Digimon were exposed in public.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Those were some weird times." Hikari said nervously. She cleared her throat to try to get away of the nervousness, and changed the subject.  
  
"So, how come I've never seen you before at school?" Hikari asked.  
  
"I don't know. I'm always around. Guess we hang out with different crowds."  
  
"Yeah." Hikari said quietly.  
  
"But I know I've seen you before, I just don't know exactly where."  
  
"Well I am on the dance team. That might spring a memory." Hikari said, trying not to sound boastful.  
  
"Oh yeah, I have seen you there. Man, we've got a pretty crazy basketball team, huh?" Yasuo chuckled. "That Takeru can sure play a pretty mean game. Too bad he can't play anymore. He seems to be walking around well, so I don't know why the coach won't let him in. His leg looks fine."   
  
Hikari frowned at the name of the boy she loved. It wasn't very easy to go throughout the day without breaking down in tears, and having her date mention his name didn't make it any easier.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so." Hikari answered quietly. Yasuo cleared his throat, and started eating, as well as Hikari. She attempted to avoid looking at him for the rest of night, yet she didn't know why. After a couple of small conversations, and Yasuo feeling a little disowned, he asked Hikari if she was ok. Hikari, trying not to be mean, said that she wasn't feeling well, and asked if he would take her home. He agreed, so after he paid the check, he walked her out to his car and drove her home. When Hikari entered her apartment door, Taichi was wide awake, watching TV.  
  
"How'd it go?" He asked his sister as she hung up her coat in the closet.  
  
"It was ok." Hikari answered quietly.  
  
"Just ok?"  
  
"Yes. Just ok. I'm going to bed." Hikari sighed. She walked into her room and closed the door slowly. She walked over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. She didn't look like herself at all. She was pale. Her eyes seemed to have lost that vibrant feeling to them, and were now just blan. They weren't anything special. In fact, they looked kind of empty of anything at all. Like what you'd expect a ghost to look like. Hikari groaned at the sight of herself and ran her hands through her hair. She glanced at her dresser drawer, and finally walked over to it. She opened up the top drawer and pulled out something she hoped nobody had ever seen before. She ran her fingers over it, it's glistening rays. She sighed.  
  
'Maybe I can't do this. Maybe it's just not meant to be.' She thought to herself. She put the item back into her drawer and closed it slowly. She looked up at the top of her dresser and saw an old picture of her and Takeru when they were dating. Hikari had taken it, so it wasn't the best picture, but it looked like the couple were in heaven. The day Hikari took the picture was so wonderful. Her and Takeru had left their duties to their teams and had gone out spontaneously. They ended up going down to the park that didn't feel much like it park. It was more like a hill with two or three trees and maybe one or two park benches. They ran up the hill laughing and ended up collapsing on top of each other, Hikari on bottom. Takeru gave her a gentle kiss on the lips, and Hikari took her camera out of her pocket, and when Takeru noticed it, it made him laugh, which made her laugh. Their lips were still together when Hikari took the shot, only instead of just a kiss, she caught the laughter as well. Hikari smiled at the thought of that day, and then her smile quickly faded. She laid the picture down so she couldn't see it, and opened her door and walked over to the closet.  
  
"What are you doing?" Taichi asked as his sister put her jacket back on.  
  
"I'm going out. I'll be back." And with that, she left the apartment. She ended up finding herself standing in front of Yamato Ishida's apartment, as well as Takeru's. The brothers lived together just as the Yagami siblings did. Hikari took all the strength she had and knocked on the front door of the apartment. The younger of the brothers answered it.  
  
"Kari? What's wrong? Are you ok?" Takeru asked when he saw Hikari's red face and streams of a mixture of mascara and tears flowing down her face.  
  
"No, I'm not." Hikari said sharply. "Why didn't you tell me." She said quietly yet cold.  
  
"Tell you what?" Takeru asked.  
  
"Tell me why you broke up with me!" Hikari yelled. Takeru backed up at the sound of Hikari's voice. It wasn't something he'd expect from such a small and gentle person.  
  
"Hikari...Why don't you come in." Takeru sighed.  
  
"Tell me why!" Hikari yelled.  
  
"This would be a lot better if I told you inside." Takeru said, aggravated at Hikari's refusal.  
  
"SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHY!" Hikari roared.  
  
"You want to know why?! I'll tell you why! Because I'm not in love with you, Yagami Hikari!" Takeru screamed. Hikari's eyes suddenly went from mad to disbelief.  
  
"No..." She whispered.  
  
"Yes! You wanted an answer, and now you have one! Happy?!" Takeru said loudly.  
  
"Takeru...You don't...You don't mean that." Hikari whimpered.  
  
"Yes Hikari, I do. Now...Just go away." Takeru sighed. He closed the door in Hikari's face, and Hikari just stood there. It seemed as though the world was moving while she stood still. No one lived, no one breathed, no one cared. She was alone. There was no one there with her. She turned away from Takeru's apartment and walked down the steps and into the car, still not expressing any emotion. Just stillness. Meanwhile, in Takeru's room, he was on the floor crying his heart out. He didn't know why he said those things to her. He knew they weren't true. He didn't even know himself why he broke up with her. He still loved her. Takeru lifted his watery-eyed face and looked at the picture of him and Hikari at the park. He whimpered, and was interrupted by his brother.  
  
"Hey Takeru, I'm going out to get something to eat, you want anything?" Yamato asked as he knocked, then immediately opened Takeru's door.  
  
"Hey, are you ok?" Yamato asked when he saw his brother's red face.  
  
"No, I'm not. Yama, why did I leave her?" Takeru asked so quietly that you could only hear it if there was no other sound except for the sound of breathing. Yamato became slightly puzzled at his brother's question, then looked over to where Takeru was looking. He saw the picture, and sighed heavily.  
  
"Not sure. I've asked myself this question before, and never got a good answer. Maybe now would be a good time for you to tell me." Yamato said. He walked over to his brother and sat down on the floor next to him.  
  
"I don't know. I don't remember why." Takeru whispered.  
  
"Try to think. Don't think about your thoughts though, think more about the feelings you had when you two were together." Yamato instructed. Takeru closed his eyes, and after a couple of minutes opened his mouth.  
  
"I remember love. I remember peace and kindness and ecstasy and passion and excitement and happiness and...And I remember worry. I remember fear." Takeru said hesitantly.  
  
"What did you fear?" Yamato asked.  
  
"I feared...I feared I'd lose her." Takeru said quietly. He opened his eyes slowly and lifted his head up. "I thought that if I loved her too much, I'd lose her."  
  
"Why would you think that? You haven't experienced loss before." Yamato said.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I thought about it like my basketball. You know, how my leg gave in."  
  
"Takeru, that's not fair. You're comparing Hikari to your leg." Yamato said.  
  
"I know, but I can't help it. I'm scared that I'll lose her, and the pain..." Takeru started as his tears started to come back. "...The pain I'd have to endure would be so extreme...I don't think I could live."  
  
"That's why you take risks, TK." Yamato said. He went into thought for a second, and came back with a memory.  
  
"Remember when you were cared of the high dive?" His asked.  
  
"Yeah." Takeru chuckled.  
  
"Well, you wouldn't have overcome that fear if you didn't take the risk."  
  
"But Matt, that's totally different." Takeru sighed.  
  
"No, it's not." Yamato said. "You need to take risks, or you'll never be happy. And you know Hikari makes you happy."  
  
"I know. But..." Takeru started as he glanced over at the picture. "I don't think I can."  
  
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That night Hikari went home and cried herself to sleep. She never expected to hear what she did. Taichi and the others knew not to ask her about it, so everybody gave her some space. Ken told Miyako that Yasuo found out he was going to be gone for the prom, so any idea of him going with Hikari was out. Hikari didn't feel all that bad. After what happened with Takeru, not having to see anybody was a relief. After a couple days went by since that night, Hikari seemed to be fine to everybody. She went to school, was still doing well with her grades, helped out greatly with the prom (which might I add was in four days), and she still interacted with her friends. She appeared to be great, which was exactly what she wanted them to think. What her friends and peers didn't know was that she was even worse that before. She wouldn't eat when she was alone, and when she wasn't, she threw up later. She cried herself to sleep every night, and wouldn't allow herself to be happy on the inside.   
  
Hikari eventually decided to go to the prom by herself, and her and Miyako went out and got a dress and accessories. Hikari worked hard on her routine that she was planning as a little bit of entertainment for the prom. Her and her dance team were going to put on a little show, and they had to do a lot of practicing, but they eventually got it down pat. The day of the prom came by slowly. Hikari got up and took a deep breath, and rolled out of bed. She got dressed and went into the kitchen to find Taichi cooking.  
  
"What's the occasion? You never cook." Hikari chuckled.  
  
"It's your prom day! You need your strength." Taichi said with a goofy grin. Hikari rolled her eyes.  
  
"That's ok, Taichi. They're serving us breakfast at the hotel. I'm running a little late, so I'll just grab something there." Hikari said. She felt a little bad that she turned down her brother's cooking, so before she left she gave him a warm hug and asked him to put it in the fridge for her for tomorrow. Taichi smiled, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and sent her off. After Hikari left the apartment and got into her car, she sighed heavily.  
  
'I'm so sorry Taichi. I'm so sorry.' She thought sadly. She started her car and headed over to the hotel. When she got in, she looked around in awe. She had never seen anything so amazing. The ceiling was so high, you'd think you were in a sky scraper that had no floors. The room was full of gold railings and expensive paintings. The walls and floors were made of marble, and the staff was dressed in well-pressed suits. Hikari continued to stare at the room until Daisuke broke her stare.  
  
"That's what I said when I saw it too." Daisuke chuckled when he noticed Hikari was inaudible.  
  
"Oh, hey Dai. It's amazing, isn't it?" Hikari sighed as she stared at the ceiling, just now noticed that there were angels glazed on it.  
  
"Yeah. Oh, guess what?" Daisuke said excitingly.  
  
"What?" Hikari said, finally giving her full attention to her friend.  
  
"I asked out Nori." Daisuke said with a goofy grin that reminded Hikari of her brother.  
  
"Really? She said yes, right?" Hikari asked,  
  
"Yeah! Oh man, thanks for letting me ask her, Hika. I owe you one." Daisuke said happily.  
  
"It's ok. I need no 'owes.'" Hikari said reassuringly. Daisuke gave her a quick hug and showed her around the hotel. After he gave her the quick tour, he showed her to the room that the prom was being held at. Hikari thought it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. And the colors were just perfect. The whole room was practically silver-plated. The only thing they really needed was the blue. And they added it. Hikari, Daisuke, Kisho, and the rest of the committee set up the chairs, tables, banners, streams, balloons, and anything else you could think of. It didn't take as long as they expected, so they let a few people leave early, including Hikari. She went home, and shortly after, Miyako, Sora, and Mimi arrived. The older girls helped Hikari and Miyako get all spruced up, while Yamato, Taichi, and Koushiro helped the younger guys get "fancified." Around 5pm everybody was in Taichi's living room except for Takeru, who had to go pick up Ami. Miyako had just come out of Hikari's room, blowing everybody away, especially Ken. Her hair was let loose around her face, and it was curled. She was wearing a purple, spaghetti-strapped, down-to-the-floor dress that had sparkles all over it.  
  
"Wow." Everybody said in their own volume. Miyako blushed at her friends' comments.  
  
"Thanks guys." She said.  
  
"Is Hikari almost done? We still need to go pick up Nori." Daisuke said as he glanced at his watch.  
  
"Yeah, she is. She's just putting together her dance costume." Miyako said.  
  
Hikari was sitting on the chair that sat in front of her mirror. She gave herself a long stare, observing herself greatly. Her hair was up in a fancy bun, and she had two strands running down both sides of her face. Her dress was a white, spaghetti-strapped, knee-length dress that was scattered at the bottom. It had rhinestones running from one side of her dress to the other. She thought she looked pretty good. On the outside. But that's not what she was looking at when she looked in the mirror. She was looking on the inside. It looked ugly, dark, a hateful place. She didn't like what she saw on the inside. She hated herself. She hated what she had become. She hated hiding. Hikari sat up and walked over to her dresser. She opened it up and pulled out something. She sighed heavily, then placed it in her bag that had her dance costume. She grabbed it, opened the door, received a few "oohs" and "ahhs," gave her brother a big hug, then followed her friends into the van and they took off to go pick up Nori.  
  
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Hikari took a deep sigh. The dance was going good so far, and everybody seemed to be having a good time. She hadn't noticed Takeru anywhere yet, so that was a good thing. Miyako and Ken seemed to be having a good time, and Daisuke and Nori seemed to be having a great time. Hikari was talking to Iori when the DJ was starting a new song, which was Hikari's queue to go and get changed for her dance routine. She went into the bathroom and met her other dance team members to get changed. Hikari put her costume on, which consisted of baby blue skin-grasping pants, and a shirt that showed her stomach that matched the pants perfectly. After she changed, she left the bathroom immediately, trying hard to not have to look in the mirror. She got out and waited for the song to end, and didn't notice the rest of the dance team waiting beside her. As soon as the song ended, the DJ asked everybody to clear the floor, and he introduced the team. Everybody took their places, and the music began to play. The song was Scandalous by Mis-Teeq. Everybody was in awe at the moves that Hikari and her team seemed to pull. They looked practically impossible. As soon as the finished off the dance in their final pose, Hikari glanced around the room and saw Daisuke, who gave her a thumbs-up. She smiled, and her and her team cleared the room.  
  
"Kari, you were great!" Miyako squealed.  
  
"Thanks." Hikari said, panting from the dancing. Miyako smiled greatly, then her smiled faded as she looked over Hikari's shoulder.  
  
"What?" Hikari asked when she noticed Miyako's change in mood. She turned around to see what Miyako was looking at, and saw Takeru dancing with Ami.  
  
"Oh Hika..." Miyako sighed. Hikari ignored her friends' compassion and went into the bathroom to change. When she came back out, she had her bag with her. She walked slowly out to the dance room, and slipped her hand into her bag. Miyako noticed where Hikari's trail was leading to, and she walked up to her.  
  
"Hikari, whatever you're thinking of doing, just stop. Hikari-" Miyako said, trying to convince her to stop. But Hikari kept going, her eyes fixed on Takeru and his girlfriend. She continued to walk up to them, never fixing her eyes anywhere else. The music and voices all disappeared as she headed towards them, and her footsteps seemed to go so slowly. Takeru had his arms wrapped around Ami and they were dancing slowly when he looked over Ami's shoulder ad saw Hikari walking towards them, pulling her hand out of her bag with something in her hand. He couldn't see what it was at first, but when he did, his eyes went wide and he whispered into Ami's ear to get out of the room.  
  
"Hikari..." Takeru said nervously as Hikari walked up to him. By now, everybody could see the gun in Hikari's hand.  
  
"Shut up Takeru." Hikari said coldly as she pointed the gun at him. Girls started screaming and security guards stayed around the edge of the crowd that now had cleared the dance floor. It was only Hikari and Takeru.  
  
"Hikari please, just think about this." Takeru stammered.  
  
"No Takeru, I'm not going to think about this! I've had to live with the pain and guilt and sorrow since that day you broke up with me, and for you to say you don't love is bullshit!" Hikari screamed. "I want to know, right now, exactly how you feel." She said as she lowered her voice enough for it to not be a yell, but loud enough that everybody could hear. She started towards Takeru, and he started to whimper.  
  
"Hikari, please..." He pleaded as his tears started to fall, "I'm sorry. I really am. Just think about this. Please..." He cried, but was cut off by Hikari's lips against his, her gun still pointed towards his chest. He returned the kiss, surprisingly, and as it started to grow a little more passionate, Hikari pulled away and looked into his eyes with pain and agony.  
  
"You should've told me the truth that night, Takeru." She whispered. She backed up away from him and pointed the gun directly towards him.  
  
"Hikari, don't shoot me. Please. We can talk about this." He pleaded as his tears started to flow freely.  
  
"No, Takeru, we can't. And don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you." She said simply She turned the gun around and pointed it at her chest.  
  
"I'm going to shoot me." And everything went silent for Takeru. Nobody was breathing, nobody was talking, nobody was dialing 911, nobody was. And it went by so slowly. The only sound he heard was the gun go off, and the sound of Hikari landing on the floor. He stood there, not fixing his eyes on her, just where she was standing. He didn't notice the police come running in, or the ambulance carry her off, or the people that rushed out to see if she was ok. He didn't see anything. He just heard her words echo through his mind.  
  
'You should've told me the truth that night, Takeru,' kept running through his mind, over and over and over again. He couldn't feel himself breath. He couldn't hear his heart beat. He couldn't feel himself live. His heart seemed to die, his breathing no longer required. He just stood there. He didn't notice Miyako or Ami or Ken or Iori or Daisuke come up to him to comfort him. He couldn't hear Miyako crying hysterically, he couldn't hear Ken trying to hold himself from crying while he tried to comfort Miyako. He couldn't. He just stood there like a mannequin that had no heart, soul, mind. He didn't move. He stood there until there was no one left. His friends asleep on the floor, the police wrapping up their investigation. It was nearly midnight when he fell to his knees and finally absorbed what had happened.  
  
"No..." Takeru whispered. He let his eyes fall to the ground, and her stared at his hands like they were the hands of a vicious murderer.  
  
"TAKERU!" Taichi yelled. His roar woke up the youngsters that had fallen asleep on the floor. He ran up to Takeru and grabbed him by the collar and pulled him to his feet. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?!?!" Taichi screamed into his face as his tears ran freely.  
  
"I don't know." Takeru answered quietly. He looked into Taichi's eyes, and when Taichi saw Takeru's eyes, he let go of his shirt.  
  
"Takeru..." Taichi whimpered. He fell to his knees and started to sob.  
  
"Tai..." Takeru whispered as he knelt in front of Taichi. "I...I have to go." he said. He stood up and walked out of the room, out of the hotel, onto the street, and started to run. He kept running, even when he knew his legs would give out. He didn't stop, though. He just kept running. He never collapsed like he thought would happen every time he brought another foot down, he kept going. He ran all the way to his apartment and fell onto the floor and started to sob uncontrollably. Yamato stepped into the living room where Takeru was, and bent down and held his brother.  
  
"I'm so sorry Takeru." Yamato said, his voice shaking from crying. He stayed there for hours until they both fell asleep from tears.  
  
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"Takeru, wake up." Yamato whispered to his brother who was asleep on the floor.  
  
"Wha...What?" Takeru yawned.  
  
"Hikari's alive." Yamato said. Takeru's eyes snapped open and he jumped up from the floor.  
  
"What?! How?" Takeru asked in disbelief.  
  
"The bullet didn't hit any of her vital organs. It just hit some tissue." Yamato said joyfully. "We can go see her." Takeru looked away, and sighed quietly.  
  
"I can't." he whispered. He walked away from Yamato and went into his room.  
  
"What do you mean you can't?!" Yamato asked, puzzled.  
  
"Matt..." Takeru sighed. "I shot her."  
  
"What are you talking about? She shot herself."  
  
"She shot herself because I told her the reason I broke up with her was because I don't love her."  
  
"What?" Yamato asked in a whisper. Takeru sat down on his bed and looked at the floor.  
  
"She came over the other day," Takeru said quietly, "and asked me why I broke up with her. I didn't know myself, but she kept yelling at me and telling me to give her a reason, and I snapped and said that I didn't love her."  
  
"That's why you asked me that question the other night." Yamato said quietly.  
  
"Yeah." Takeru said.  
  
"TK, you need to go see her and straighten this out." Yamato sighed.  
  
"I can't." Takeru said.  
  
"You'd better, or I'll have to drag your sorry ass down there." Yamato said sternly. Takeru gave him a look of confusion, and Yamato answered it.  
  
"You've given this girl so much grief that she deserves to hear you say the truth. And if you don't relieve her of her pain, I'm going to make you suffer." Yamato said with a cold tone.  
  
"You've got to be kidding." Takeru chuckled nervously.  
  
"I'm not. Get your ass down there and apologize, or you will be in so much physical pain, it might be a fraction of what Hikari's experiencing emotionally."   
  
Takeru stared at him with wide eyes, and eventually sighed and nodded. Yamato left the apartment with Takeru not far behind. They got into Yamato's car and drove off to the hospital. When they arrived and got to the waiting room, everybody was either getting ready to leave, or was asleep.  
  
"Takeru, I'm glad you came." Miyako said quietly when Takeru and Yamato entered the room.  
  
"Yeah, what took you so long to get here?" Daisuke asked.  
  
"I wasn't feeling well." Takeru answered quietly. He found a chair in the corner and sat down, avoiding eye contact with any of his peers. He glanced around the room, and felt all of these weird emotions come over him. He could feel the pain of someone else who had been there that just got the news that their daughter died in surgery. He could also feel the joy of man who just became a father. he could feel the anxiety of someone who was awaiting to see if their father had made it through surgery. He couldn't understand why, but it seemed that this room was full of spirit.  
  
"Takeru..." Iori asked from the chair next to Takeru. Takeru snapped back from the trance of random emotion and just now noticed Iori sitting next to him.  
  
"What?" Takeru asked, still trying to figure out why he didn't notice Iori sit down next to him.  
  
"What was Hikari talking about when she said, 'you should've told me the truth that night.' "  
  
"I'd rather not talk about it." Takeru said.  
  
"TK," Iori whispered, "what happened?"  
  
"Please, Iori, I can't talk about it. Please understand." He pleaded. He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and headed out the room when someone said something that brought him to a halt.  
  
"Runnin' away from her again, are you Takaishi?" Taichi said roughly. Takeru turned around and looked at Taichi.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are to talk to me like that?" Takeru said angrily.  
  
"I'm the brother of your ex-girlfriend who just happened to shoot herself on your account!" Taichi barked back.  
  
"You have no idea what my situation was." Takeru said through his teeth.  
  
"Well why don't you tell me?" Taichi asked accusingly. Takeru sighed sharply and turned away from Taichi and started walking away.  
  
"I know what you said to her." Taichi said. Takeru stopped again, but this time didn't turn around.  
  
"So what if you know. It doesn't change what happened." He said.  
  
"You are the reason she shot herself! If you had told her the truth, we wouldn't be here right now!" Taichi yelled.  
  
"You think I don't know that Tai?!" Takeru yelled as he turned around. "You think I don't know that Hikari would be ok if I didn't say that I didn't love her?!" Takeru screamed while his eyes started to run.  
  
"So that's what you said." Taichi said quietly. Everybody was awake by now and only heard what Takeru had just said.  
  
"Spare me the lecture Tai, I don't need to hear it." Takeru whispered. He turned away but stopped when the doctor came in.  
  
"Hikari's awake if anybody wants to go see her." The doctor said. Everybody looked around nervously, wondering who should go see her first.  
  
"Go Takeru." Miyako said from the corner. Takeru looked at her with his eyes half open and shook his head.  
  
"No." Was all he said.  
  
"Yes, Takeru. Go see her." Taichi said hesitantly. Takeru opened his mouth the decline, but Taichi stopped him and ordered him to go see her. Takeru just looked at him gravely and turned away from his friends. He looked at Hikari's hospital room door for a minute, then slowly walked towards it. He opened it carefully, and poked his head inside. When he saw Hikari on the bed, he entered the room fully and closed the door behind him.  
  
"Takeru." Hikari whispered from the bed.  
  
"Yeah, it's me. How'd you know?" He asked quietly yet curiously.  
  
"I can always tell when you're near." Hikari whispered. "It's like a sixth sense."  
  
"Huh." Takeru chuckled.  
  
"TK, come here." Hikari said. Takeru obeyed and walked over to the side of the bed.  
  
"You ok?" He asked.  
  
"Takeru...I wasn't planning on being here right now." She said quietly.  
  
"You were planning on shooting me instead." He finished for her, even quieter.  
  
"No, that's not it." She said. She sighed heavily. "I wasn't planning on living."  
  
"Hika..." Takeru whispered, "You don't really mean that."  
  
"Yes, Takeru, I do." She said. Takeru closed his eyes painfully then opened them and looked around the room for a chair. When he saw one he dragged it over to the side of the bed and sat down.  
  
"Why?" He asked when he was seated.  
  
"Because it was painful to see you." She said, followed by a cough. Takeru covered his face with his hands and laid his head on the side of the bed so Hikari couldn't see him crying. She saw anyway, and laid her hand on the top of his head gently to comfort him.  
  
"I'm sorry, Takeru." She whispered. Takeru lifted his head up slowly and looked into Hikari's eyes. They looked very tired. And it didn't look like it was because of a lack of sleep.  
  
"Hikari, I need to tell you something." He said. Hikari nodded in response. He looked away from her.  
  
"I didn't break up with you because I didn't love you."  
  
"Then why did you say that?" She asked.  
  
"Because I didn't want to tell you why I really broke up with you."  
  
"Takeru..." She said quietly. She placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it gently. "You can tell me anything." He closed his eyes slowly and placed his other hand on top of Hikari's.  
  
"I thought I would lose you." He said very quietly.  
  
"Why would you think you would lose me?" She asked.  
  
"I don't know. I wasn't really thinking about that. Just about the pain I would feel if I did lose you."  
  
"Oh Takeru..." Hikari sighed. She placed her other hand on top of Takeru's, and he lifted his head up and opened his eyes. "I can't promise you I'll stay, because we both know that's not going to happen. I mean look at today and what happened. Are you telling me that the pain would be worse than it was when I shot myself if we were together?" Hikari asked. Takeru looked away again.  
  
"Probably not." He answered quietly.  
  
"We run the risk of dying when we put bread in the toaster. But that doesn't mean we stop eating toast." Hikari pointed out. Takeru chuckled a little then looked back at Hikari.  
  
"Sometimes it's worth the risk."   
  
He looked at her, and then pulled one of his hands away and ran it through Hikari's hair.  
  
"I'm so sorry Hikari." He said with a sad smile.  
  
"It's ok, Takeru." She whispered. He let his tears run, and Hikari wiped them away with her hand.  
  
"Hikari..." He whispered. "I really do love you."  
  
"I know, Takeru. I know." Hikari said. Takeru started to sob and Hikari opened up her arms to him. He cried onto her shoulder for a while and then pulled away.  
  
"Kari..." He started, "Would you be willing to take me back?"  
  
"No." She answered. Takeru gave her another sad smile.  
  
"Why?" He asked slowly.  
  
"Because you have Ami." She answered. Takeru sighed.  
  
"I'll break up with her, then." He said.  
  
"That's not fair to her. I know what it feels like. I may not like it, but you can't break up with her for me." Hikari said, this time she had a sad smile.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Sh." Hikari said as she placed a finger over Takeru's lips to keep him from talking. "It's just how it's got to be."  
  
"I'm sorry Kari." Takeru whimpered.  
  
"It's ok." Hikari lied. Takeru gave her a kiss on the forehead then left the room so Taichi and the others could see her.  
  
"So, how was it?" Iori asked when Takeru entered the waiting room.  
  
"I told her the truth." Takeru said.  
  
"And...? Are you guys together now?" Iori asked. Takeru shook his head sadly.  
  
"What? Why?" Iori asked.  
  
"Hikari won't let me. I offered to break up with Ami, but she said no."  
  
"Man. I'm sorry, TK." Iori said truthfully.  
  
"I'm not going to listen to her." Takeru said.  
  
"What?" Iori asked curiously.  
  
"I'm going to break up with Ami." Takeru said.  
  
"But Hikari said-"  
  
"I know what Hikari said, Iori. But I'm going to do it anyway."  
  
"Good luck." Iori sighed. He shook his head in disaproval, and walked away when Miyako asked him if he wanted to play checkers with her. Takeru looked at his watch. It read 11:07am. He told Yamato that he was going out to do something, and left the waiting room to go to his car, and took off in the direction on Ami's apartment.  
  
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"You did what?!" Hikari gasped.  
  
"I broke up with Ami." Takeru said with a little hint of smile across his face.  
  
"Takeru..." Hikari groaned. She sat up and picked up her glass of water from the side table and just stared at it for a while.  
  
"Kari...Is something wrong?" Takeru asked.  
  
"Yes TK," Hikari started, "everything is wrong." She sighed. She took a sip of her water, then brought away from her lips and looked over at Takeru.  
  
"I told you not to break up with her." Hikari said to Takeru.  
  
"I know, but I just wanted us to be able to get back together." Takeru said.  
  
"TK, do you think I would feel any better with you if you broke someone else's heart for me?" Hikari asked in a whisper.  
  
"I didn't really think about it." Takeru sighed.  
  
"I can see that." Hikari sighed. A few minutes of silence went by until Takeru spoke up.  
  
"So...Do you think we could get together?" He asked.  
  
"I don't know TK. If we did, it wouldn't be any time around now." Hikari answered.  
  
"So, you're saying that we might have a chance?" Takeru asked nervously.  
  
"Takeru...I still have a lot I need to recover from. Have you even thought of how much pain I'm still in? A suicide isn't something taken lightly."  
  
"I know." Takeru whispered. "I'll help you recover in any way I can. But I want to ask for one thing."  
  
"What might that be?" Hikari asked.  
  
"Just consider us getting back together, ok?" Takeru asked. Hikari took in a heavy sigh.  
  
"Ok, Takeru. You help me, and I'll think about it."  
  
"Thanks." Takeru said with a grin. Hikari chuckled, and Takeru chuckled with her. 


End file.
